Have You Heard The One About

Royal Air Force Administrative Apprentice Association
Multam A Parvo - Much From Little

Have You Heard The One About.......
Continued

There is nothing like a good laugh. Service or Barrack Room Humour is unique
as It is always racy , a bit close to the knuckle and delights in to poking fun at
both the military establishment, the fair sex and of course at servicemen
themselves. All ex- Admin Apprentices will recall those nights after lights out
when the giggling would begin as the jokes kept coming. Over the years
Service humour has evolved into an art form so we we would like to publish
some of your jokes and cartoons bearing in mind all the political correctness
we now have to abide by. If you have a good'un then click here to go to our
submit article page.

Cartoons can be e-mailed to administrator@rafadappassn.org

One For Those Abrasive
Mother-In-Law's?

Two Blondes With Hammers...
Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach
into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are
you throwing those nails away?" Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I
throw them away."
Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

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Did you hea r about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see "Closed for the Winter."

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A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room
doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by
shooting off your finger?"
"No, Silly" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself
in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, "I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened I'm
not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: "This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.

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A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to
a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe
really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe.
Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?" The
first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled
her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."

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A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the
clerk To ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." "Wow, said the blonde, "that's
amazing....I'm going to buy it!!"So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that," he
asked? "Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied..... .."Two popsicles and some coffee."

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AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this
morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day?
Take the day off to relax and rest.""Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that
here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks
out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. "What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks. "No!" exclaims the blonde.
"I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!"

Here Are A Few Blonde Jokes

"FAMOUS PUBS OF SCOTLAND, ENGLAND AND IRELAND"

"Y'know" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In
Glasgow there's a wonderful little bar called McTavish's. The landlord
there goes out of his way for the locals, so much that when you buy four
drinks he'll buy the fifth drink for you."

"Well", said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman
there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhhhh, that's nothin so, me buckos", said the Irishman. "Back home in
me own Dublin, there's Ryan's Bar. Now, the moment you set foot in the
place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like.
Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see
that you get laid. All on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman's claims. But
he swears every word is true.

"Well," said the Englishman "did this actually happen to you?"

"Not to me myself, personally, no," said the Irishman, "... but it did
happen to me sister."

My Thanks To George Masson (29th Entry) For Providing The 5 Images Shown Below

Women As Explained By
Engineers

I'm not usually one for posting
warnings about scams but I had a
near miss yesterday in York.

I walked into B&Q at lunchtime and
some old guy, dressed in
orange, asked me if I wanted
decking.

Fortunately, I got the first punch in
and that was the end of
that.

Those less suspecting might not
be so lucky - so be on your guard.

DIY Warning ! Courtesy Of
Bob Danes 33rd Entry

A retired Italian wine maker went to the village church to make his confession for the first time
in many decades.
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, "Father, during World
War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. I hid
her in my attic."
The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! You have no need to confess it"
"It's worse than that, Father," he continued. "She quickly started to repay me with sexual
favours."
"People in wartime sometimes act in ways they wouldn't under normal conditions. If you are
truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven."
"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. May I ask a question?" "What, my son?"
"She is pretty old now, should I tell her the war is over?"

A Skeleton In The Cupboard?

FOR THOSE BORN BEFORE 1986

According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 60's, 70's and early 80's probably shouldn't have survived,
because our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint, which was promptly chewed and licked.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or cabinets and it was fine to play with pans. When we rode our bikes, we wore
no helmets, just flip-flops and fluorescent 'spokey dokey's' on our wheels.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or airbags riding in the passenger seat was a treat. We drank water from the garden hose
and not from a bottle and it tasted the same. We ate chips, bread and butter and drank fizzy juice with sugar in it, but we were never overweight
because we were always outside playing.
We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no one actually died from this. We would spend hours building go-carts out of
scraps and then went top speed down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to
solve the problem.
We would leave home in the morning and could play all day, as long as we were back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us and no one
minded. We did not have Play Stations or X-Boxes, no video games at all. No 99 channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no
mobile phones, no personal computers, no DVDs, no Internet chat rooms.
We had friends - we went outside and found them. We played elastics and rounders, and sometimes that ball really hurt! We fell out of trees, got
cut and broke bones but there were no lawsuits. We had full on fistfights but no prosecution followed from other parents. We played
knock-the-door-run-away and were actually afraid of the owners catching us We walked to friends' homes. We also, believe it or not, WALKED to
school; we didn't rely on mummy or daddy to drive us to school, which was just round the corner.
We made up games with sticks and tennis balls. We rode bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood. The idea of a parent bailing us
out if we broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem
solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. And you're one of them. Congratulations!
Pass this on to others who have had the luck to grow as real kids, before lawyers and government regulated our lives, for our own good.
For those of you who aren't old enough thought you might like to read about us? This my friends, is surprisingly frightening...and it might put a
Smile on your face: The majority of students in universities today were born in 1986...They are called youth. They have never heard of 'We are the
World, We are the children', and the Uptown Girl they know is by Westlife not Billy Joel. They have never heard of Rick Astley, Bananarama, Nena
Cherry or Belinda Carlisle.
For them, there has always been only one Germany and one Vietnam. AIDS has existed since they were born. CD's have existed since they were
born. Michael Jackson has always been white. To them John Travolta has always been round in shape and they can't imagine how this fat guy
could be a god of dance.
They believe that Charlie's Angels and Mission Impossible are films from last year. They can never imagine life before computers. They'll never
have pretended to be the A Team, Red Hand Gang or the Famous Five. They'll never have applied to be on Jim'll Fix it or Why Don't You. They can't
believe a black and white television ever existed. And they will never understand how we could leave the house without a mobile phone.
Now let's check if we're getting old...
1. You understand what was written above and you smile.
2. You need to sleep more, usually until the afternoon, after a night out.
3. Your friends are getting married/already married.
4. You are always surprised to see small children playing comfortably with computers.
5. When you see kids with mobile phones, you shake your head.
6. You remember watching Dirty Den in East Enders the first time around.
7. You meet your friends from time to time, talking about the good Old days, repeating again all the funny things you have experienced together.
8. Having read this mail, you are thinking of forwarding it to some other friends because you think they will like it too...
Yes, you're getting old!!

How True This Is